Arrogant, entitled TV writer bashes arrogant, entitled band: Glee vs. Kings of Leon

8:43 am - Thu, Jan 27, 2011: 51 notes

Arrogant, entitled TV writer bashes arrogant, entitled band: Glee vs. Kings of Leon

You may remember a few months ago when Kings of Leon refused to let Glee unload its cannon of goopy, campy bullshit onto the Kings of Leon canon. Well Glee’s creator, Ryan Murphy, certainly remembers. Poor wittle Wyan Murphy was just SO ANGWEE because his poor wittle show couldn’t make “Use Somebody” into an even more ubiquitous soccer mom anthem than it already was.

In a recent interview, Murphy finally let the world know his fwagile wittle feelings had been hurt, saying, “Fuck you, Kings of Leon…They’re self-centered assholes.”

Of COURSE they’re self-centered assholes! That’s their whole shtick! Now, I’ve been giving KOL grief for the past year, what with all the canceled shows and that mediocre album. But I am 100% back on the KOL bandwagon now that they’ve pissed off the Almighty Glee Creator. Because seriously, fuck that guy. Fuck him with Rihanna’s god damn umbrella (make sure to insert BEFORE opening) for thinking his disposable show has the God-given right to take any song it chooses and proceed to turn it into a faux-campy, twee-laced, aural rapefest.

Fuck Glee so hard in the face. It’s High School Musical without the plausible deniability of “Oh, it’s just the Disney Channel catering to those tweens.” It’s Kidz Bop for adults.

It’s a fucking parasite. Literally, it latches onto a host for survival. It could not exist without the already-existing music of others. And that makes it the laziest fucking show on television.

Because you know what’s hard? Writing 43 minutes of original TV per week. Even if those 43 minutes are an episode of the biggest, steamiest pile of dog shit on TV, like, say CSI: Miami. It is still DIFFICULT to come up with those 43 minutes of original content. You know what ISN’T difficult? Writing 23 minutes of zeitgeisty “be yourself” proto-messages combined with a celebrity-of-the-week PR cameo, then filling the remaining 20 minutes with performances of already-written songs with already-written lyrics. Yep, that sounds like Outstanding Writing Emmy material.

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

FUCK the archetypal characters (the jock, the kid in a wheelchair, the neurotic girl, the gay guy, the fat girl, and on and on and on) which Murphy made PRECISELY so that he could proceed to “blow up” the predetermined constraints of said archetypes, which is just his lazy ass attempt at making the characters multidimensional.

FUCK the slushies.

FUCK the “cool” music teacher character and his bordering-on-pedophilia rapport with his students.

FUCK Jane Lynch’s track-suit-wearing, made-a-career-out-of-one-character character. OOOH LOOGIT, she’s sassy and speaks her mind and has the short hair to prove it! She plays by her own rules! Look, Best in Show was great. It was also a fucking decade ago. Learn a new trick, Jane. You’re the Michael Cera of baby boomers.

FUCK Lea Michele. Literally, because she is very attractive.

But mostly, FUCK Glee and FUCK Ryan Murphy. Half his show is pre-written musical filler, and the other half is some cocktail of a Mr. Rogers lesson with a twist of sex (oooh but they’re in high school so it’s RACY!), topped off with a splash of character caricatures that make Saved By The Bell look like a fucking teen life documentary.

It’s time to accept the truth about Glee: it’s nothing but a schlocky, pop-culture-recycling leech.

So today, I applaud the arrogant, entitled assholes of Kings of Leon for exposing Ryan Murphy as the arrogant, entitled asshole he is. Drummer Nathan Followill said it best: “Dear Ryan Murphy…Zip your lip and focus on educating 7yr olds how to say fuck.”

As in, “Fuck Glee.”